Thoughts on Self Care

About two years ago I had a huge wakeup call when it came to my mental health, self-awareness, and (to be fairly dramatic) how I lived my life overall. To say that I was living in a bubble is probably the vaguest yet most accurate way to describe it. But deep down what it really felt like was that I was struggling. Every. Single. Day. To do even the simplest things in my everyday routine.

I felt as if I was floating within time and I couldn’t quite connect to any emotion, person, or feeling deeply. At times, I felt numb to all of these things, but overall I was just so goddamn confused. I was not self-aware of myself or of those around me, so many of my relationships were effected by my inability to connect to and understand myself. This was the hardest pill to swallow.

I remember many days I would wake up with immediate anxiety, as if there was a weight on my chest and I could not breathe properly. It got so bad some days that I would almost have anxiety attacks while I was getting ready for work. After I would pull myself together, anxiety would creep back up on my ride to work and I would find myself near to tears. – This is the non-so-glamorous side of life. And it’s. F*cking. Hard. Especially when you can’t understand why you feel a certain way, and then coming to the realization that you may not be loving/caring for yourself in the way you desperately need it. Being brutally honest with yourself in this way is challenging, but it can set you free.

And this is where I started to learn about the importance of self-care.

Self-care is described as the “practice of taking action to preserve or improve one’s own health” according to Oxford Dictionaries.

When I started implementing small self-care acts to my daily routine I noticed major shifts in my overall mood, my thoughts, how I talked to others, how I presented myself to the world, etc. And when I noticed these shifts, I was in awe. I couldn’t help but wonder why I had not started this process sooner? And not only that, but why wasn’t something so simple yet so important not taught to us as a whole?

There are so many incredible people who share their personal remedies for self-care, and although I have personally been inspired by some, I think it is extremely important to acknowledge and be compassionate towards the fact that self-care is going to look different from each person to the next. And from there, it is going to look different from each day to the next. For example, some days myself care is reading a book. Other days it might be catching up with an old friend, another day it might be grabbing a double chicken burrito bowl from El Pollo Loco. Self-care is so individual and personal that it could be anything that rings true to your soul.

One of my favorite ways to implement self-care to my daily routine is by creating a specific morning routine. My ideal morning routine sounds a little like this: wake up early to take care of my skin and teeth, chug water, make coffee, stretch my body/do a bit of yoga, and finish off by journaling anything that comes to mind. I do this until it is time I have to get ready for work and when I close my journal, that is my way of knowing that I showed up for myself and my mental health in at least one way that day.

I found it a bit confusing when I first started to try to listen to what I needed as a form of self-care. But it is all about experimenting and seeing what feels best for you! Below are a few of my suggestions:

Self Care Suggestions: taking a hot bath, journaling, reading a book, taking a walk outside, treating yourself to your favorite food, being active/moving your body, talking to a friend, watching a movie, meditation, trying something new, coloring/art in general, getting outside, baking/cooking, playing a sport, your favorite hobby, etc…. Anything that brings you joy – and not based on others thoughts/perceptions.

So, you find something that rings true to your soul… now what? Now, it’s time to break it down to set it all up for yourself.

Setting It Up:

  • Check in with yourself. How are you feeling in this moment? Listen carefully to where your thoughts lead to – pay attention.
  • Be honest with yourself. What you love to do? What brings you the most joy? What is important to you?  Are you making enough time for these things on your normal schedule?
  • Take action. Do something that you love and that feeds your soul. Something that you are doing for you.
  • Create boundaries. Where time and action come together to form a non-negotiable promise to yourself, for yourself. Self-discipline is badass.
  • Write it in and prioritize. Find time in your daily schedule to do something for yourself every single day – no matter what it is, as long as it feels good to you (and is not hurting someone else, obvs.)
  • Be open to change. We are evolving creatures, so our needs may evolve, too. Listen to when you feel a bit stagnant with life and use that as an opportunity to try something new.
  • Continue to look forward. Self-care is not an over-night fix, but rather a continuous honor to be aware of your needs and overall health.
  • Above all, be kind to yourself. You are only on this earth once, and deserve to live it in the highest form of love and happiness. Spread it like wildfire, and change the world.

If there is one thing that I have learned through my continuous journey of self-care and self-discovery, it is that there is no right or wrong way to take care of yourself and love yourself, but there is a healthy way. And that everyone’s definition of healthy self-care is going to be different. Starting the journey of self-care and self-discovery can change your life if you let it, so why not give it a try?

What are some of your favorite self-care remedies and or routines? How would you personally describe self-care? What have you learned by implementing self-care into your daily routine? Feel free to leave a comment, I would love to hear more!

Disclaimer:

Everything I share here is from my own personal experience, thoughts, and life. I hope that by sharing my story, I can help someone out there. I have never been clinically diagnosed with depression, anxiety, or other mental disorders/diseases. And I do not take these topics lightly, and if you are struggling yourself in a way that you cannot help yourself, I encourage you to ask for help in any avenue that you feel comfortable. Whether that be a doctor, family member, friend, and/or therapist – you are important, strong, and you are meant to be here and experience a beautiful life.

Work in Progress

Long time no see, or no talk? Either, or works I suppose. I am still trying to figure out how to write with knowing that someone will be reading my words, as writing always been something that I kept fairly private. (So bear with me here, plz and thnx!) I wanted to write some thoughts before I get into posting different topics, so here we go.

I guess I will take it back to when I originally started this blog, Now And Then With Jen. It was the summer of 2016 and I got very inspired by many bloggers on WordPress and Instagram. I loved that they felt so free and open to share their different passions. As a fairly introverted person with many different types interests, seeing them be so vulnerable really helped me step outside of the box that I was mentally stuck in. I connected with these people in a way that I never knew was possible. And by this I mean, on the internet connecting with like-minded people through a screen. (I mean really, how weird is that when you think about it. Yet it is totally the norm in this day and age- hi!!)

I originally wanted to create this outlet to share passions and interests of mine including fashion, music, traveling, food, experiences, etc. I did maybe about 8 different posts total within a span of 5 months, and then stopped. I couldn’t quite figure out how or what to write, because internally I was going through a lot that I didn’t understand how to deal with at the time. Looking back, I know this is because I didn’t fully know or love myself. So although writing about styling my new favorite sweater made me feel happy and that maybe someone could pull some inspiration from that post (um, because I freaking loved that sweater), it also felt extremely shallow (because, um, I was writing about a sweater while internally feeling like I didn’t know myself.)

Then in early 2017 I moved to Los Angeles. And everything changed. The entertainment capital of the world, and I was just barely trying to start up my personal blog. I felt small, confused, and imposter syndrome was at an all-time high. Although I wanted to keep up with writing and sharing my passions, I could cut my self-doubt with a knife.

Common thoughts of mine during this time: who TF do I think I am starting a blog and sharing things that I’m not even an expert at? People will go somewhere else and find experts.

In other words: I closed my laptop and did not dare to write a word on my blog for upwards of a year.

Looking back from early 2017 to now, this chunk of time has been such an incredibly painful yet rewarding time in my life where I have learned so much about myself and the world, where I feel comfortable to simply be myself. I am starting up this blog again because I reflected on the main reason/passion why I ever wanted to create one in the first place – to help someone in the ways that I know how: through sharing, connecting, and loving. Even if that is one person, whoever that may be and however that may be.  (From favorite sweater posts, serious talks about social media, incredible make up products to cover-up skin imperfections, and to silly stories of mine – we got it all, baby.)

What I have learned is that we are always changing, and that is where great progress and learning can come about. And sometimes you have to lose yourself to find yourself again. And if it happens more than once, guess what? That’s okay. No one wakes up with all of the answers, that’s what experiencing life is for!

Life is heavy. It’s messy. It’s scary. It’s so god damn sad that you feel lost. And recently there has been so many devastating situations happening, that make you feel hopeless. But the thing is – it is not only that. It is simultaneously beautiful, caring, loving, colorful, abundant and joyful. And THAT is life. Life is a cocktail of chaos with ingredients of the good, the bad, and everything in between.

In the midst of all of the chaos happening in this world recently, I choose love. I choose hope. I choose niceness. I choose strength. I chose vulnerability. I choose connection. And I choose happiness. And to whoever is reading this, whoever you are, whatever you are going through, I hope that if there is anything that you pull from this.. I hope that you remember just how special you are, how loved you are, and that it is more than okay to be a work in progress.

Be kind to yourself. And like Ellen Degeneres says, be kind to one another.

xo,

Jen

Antelope Valley Poppy Reserve

Sometimes life gets a little hectic and you forget to wind down and do thinks that you love. Work/school gets busy, chores pile up, overwhelming situations… Life happens! Personally, most of my time is devoted to work and the rest of the time I don’t always set aside for “me time.” I find that finding “me time” gives me piece of mind after a crazy day/week. And when I am able to, I love to set aside time for exploring, travel, and adventure. I find that I am my absolute happiest when I am exploring and learning.

The other week I did just that: planned a day to venture out of Los Angeles and see the Antelope Valley Poppy Reserve for my own eyes. I have been hearing that since there was so much rain fall this year (more than normal) that poppy flowers and wildflowers have been blooming like crazy. I was fascinated with the idea of seeing fields of flowers in bloom, so I just had to make a trip. And I’m so glad I did, this will forever be one of my favorite memories.

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The Antelope Valley Poppy Reserve is a natural state reserve. There are fields of poppy flowers and wildflowers that are typically in bloom from February through May. With eight miles of trails, it’s a great area to take the day to explore. Get out of the city, get into the country side, and breathe a little. And if you plan on visiting, go prepared! Bring sunscreen, walking/hiking shoes, and lots and lots of water. (I forgot my sunscreen and my back turned into a tomato!!)

Since I live in the city, I sometimes forget to appreciate the little things like grass, flowers, trees, etc. But there at the reserve, natures’ beauty was surrounding me. Beautiful flowers, intriguing hills/mountains, and country roads that seem to go on for days.

This experience I will always hold close to. I had a moment of pure bliss. Pure happiness. The feeling where you are completely content with where you are. And in that moment, everything becomes calm.

The Start of Something New…

First and foremost I would like to say thank you for dropping by! Welcome to the start of something new, blog edition. This has been a long time coming, and similar to the image above, (taken at the Philadelphia Magic Gardens in Philadelphia, PA) slowly but surely… Which may or may not have to become my life motto.

Blogging has always been very intriguing to me, and so to me it’s no surprise that I would give it a whirl. If anyone knows me personally, you would know that I did have a previous blog on tumblr which was dedicated to my Rotary youth exchange year in Ecuador during 2014-2015. There I shared my experiences, thoughts, and travels during my year as a foreign exchange student. My intension to make that blog was to easily be able to keep my loved ones from the USA updated with my new exchange life. Every now and then I look back on it and it brings me back to so many great memories/feelings. As much as I loved writing there, it really makes no sense for me to continue with it after almost two years.

Growing up I always loved writing, but it was mainly when it was just for me, voicing my opinion, or helping someone else. Writing has always been a creative outlet for me, and for a while I was putting it on the back burner as I tried to focus on other things. So after many encouraging words from friends and family, here I am, creating this blog to be whole-heartedly, me.

I would say that the biggest struggle with creating and constructing this blog was not trying to figure out how to design it. That was quite interesting and fun after A LOT of trial and error. (I thought I was pretty tech savvy but this site was actually very challenging for me to understand.) My biggest struggle was trying to come up with a guide line of where my content would fall. I have many interests, so how could I just choose one? It’s very hard to just limit myself to focus on one topic. My other blog was fairly easy because it was strictly about my exchange year. But there is much more to my life, and life in general. My conclusion is to have my blog be mainly  centered around “lifestyle.”

With that being said, this is what you will find here: my life. My experiences, stories, opinions, travels, interests, advice, and much much more. Comments, suggestions, and questions are always welcome. All I ask for is respect and an open mind.

NowAndThenWithJen means exactly what it says. Everything from back then, to right now, from the inside and out. I thought it would be very fitting for this new creation. Thank you for stopping by and here’s to what is still to come!

"Let us make our future now, and let us make our dreams tomorrow's reality." -Malala Yousafzai