Lifestyle – Now And Then With Jen

REALNESS OF INFLUENCERS – IS IT OVER OR JUST BEGUN?

Influencers. Who would have ever thought that that word would be engrained in part of our modern-day-vocabulary. I sure as hell would not have! But yet here I am, a consumer and lover of social media, and I find question on my mind pretty regularly: is the realness of influencers over or has it just begun?

What I mean by this is, the times of when an influencer has gushed over something and has been SO EXCITED to try something out… have those times been genuine? Or for a pitched or paid ad? I can’t help but wonder. And on the flip side, we have another side of influencers who’s energy is inviting and open and they are so dang intoxicating to follow because of how REAL they are. Or are they? I guess both sides really boil down to trust and/or a fine line that could be a facade.

It is so interesting to me to think of all of this when yes, there are still big chunks of society who either are not aware of this influencer corner of the internet, or they simply do not care. The angle that I have is by being a consumer and user of social media myself as well as working on a brand end of things and working with influencers for the business. These influencers are hustlers, let me tell you. It is their job and they treat it like so, and I say that with extremely high levels of respect. I’ve seen some influencers work harder than past coworkers in jobs of mine, and be more open and honest than many. And with both angles, I have been able to see an inkling of the incredible impact, influence, and responsibility that comes with the word – influencer. So I really can only imagine what the full scope must look like for them!

Now in this past year of, for a lack of better words, serious humbling, we have seen MANY changes globally, politically, socially, medically, technologically, and the list could go on. So when I think of the scale of social media, where it is going, and who will be actively participating, my hope is for influencers to stay real with who they are, what they promote, and be intentional on utilizing the platform that they have. I think that the “realness” of influencers has just recently begun to shine through, and I am really excited to see more. It is such a new concept to the digital world, and I think that by seeing how it has grown in the past 7+ years – by being intentional, amazing things can come with it. Though there will always be different types of people and different ways that people use these tools, we are all human. And the more we get on a level of simply understanding and accept just that, we are then able to see these social media platforms as simply just that – social media platforms. They can be highlight reels and/OR they can be so much more – they can be real.

What are your thoughts on influencers? Do you have a favorite influencer that you like to follow? Let me know in the comments below!

Some of my favorite influencers to follow on Instagram lately are listed below. I have so many reasons to support these accounts, and what I love most about following them, is the way that they are unapologetically themselves and the messages and creativity that they share!

@kalynnicholson13

@desiperkins

@laurynbosstick

@hellotefi

@jessimalay

@georgiestevenson

@chocolateismyvice

How Working Retail Shaped Me

If my 16 year old self saw me writing this, I am positive that she would be throwing a fit.

I remember hearing someone say a while back, “every person should experience working in retail .” And although off the bat, this is quite a general statement, I couldn’t agree more. Let me break down what working in retail as taught me and how I still utilize it all till this day, 6 years later.

My first ever job was part time as an associate at Banana Republic Factory Outlet at age 16 and I thought it was the coolest thing ever. I loved clothing, fashion, and putting outfits together. (Oh and having a hefty 40% off employee discount was icing on the cake.) I later worked for Francesca’s Boutique, the Fragrance Outlet and then a small women’s clothing boutique. It’s interesting that while I worked at all of those different places at a fairly young age, each place taught me so much and were stepping stones to where I am now – working for an LA based women’s clothing brand as the e-commerce manager. Total surreal full circle moment, my 16 year old self would be jumping up and down with joy!

So that is my background and where I am now, but how did working retail shape me to who I am today? Well, simply put, it threw me into the “real world,” real fast. As a teenager who was growing up in a small town, working in retail placed me into an environment that was a constant with a physical space but with an ever-changing customer. So I was constantly faced with the challenge of working with new people and personalities every single day. And as someone who is fairly reserved and introverted – this is a huge gift to have now! From being able to diffuse an intense situation with an angry customer, to seeing how the power of kindness or a simple smile could change the energy/aura of someone, and everything in between. Furthermore while working in customer service, these jobs have simply taught me the importance and gift of serving others. Yes, they were jobs to provide some income (and don’t get me wrong – I didn’t love them all the time) but they really did provide me the ability to collaborate with inquiring customers. And truly one of the best feelings is being able to help someone.

On the more silly side of things, another way that retail shaped me is by exposing my tidiness tendency. When you walk into a store, of course you want things or be organized and esthetically pleasing! And part of my jobs was to keep everything tidy – and if I didn’t already know that about myself at age 16, well, I learned real quick. Banana Republic’s folding clothing guide was no joke and till this day, the clothing in my closet is still folded accordingly! Call me crazy, but I love a clean room and tidy closet.

And lastly to wrap this all up, working in retail provided me experiences to learn more about myself. It was quite the journey, and I can’t say that I will ever go back necessarily, but I am so glad that I had those experiences. Those experiences taught me what I liked/disliked, who I wanted to be/didn’t want to be, what I wanted/didn’t want in a future work environment/situation. This all transpired within 5 years of learning and growing and it reminds me of exactly that – that we are ever-changing and evolving. So if you are a young person and are unsure of the direction to take, please know that everything you are doing now is a stepping stone, and that working retail can teach you really valuable lessons to carry with you. Like, ya know, folding shirts. Just kidding, kind of. 🙂

So to whoever mentioned that everyone should work retail, for these reasons above, I conquer.

Practical Tips for Your first Move

So you’re planning on moving out of your parents’ place for your very first time and have no idea what to buy for your new pad. Will a toaster suffice for all of your meals cooked at home? What type of cleaner do you buy to clean the bathroom? How about paying bills? And what if my aunt Patsy tries to take over decorating?

If you find yourself feeling confused, excited, and maybe a little helpless, I got you. As someone who has temporarily lived in a different country, then long term moved across the US, while also being someone who didn’t know what the fuck she was doing… I now know a few *practical* things that will help make your life a whole lot easier (so you have more time and mental space for, ya know, living life!)

(Side note: if you are looking for a detailed list from a home decor guru or feng shui master, let me let you down right now, that ain’t this list! This list is going to give you a few practical things that I guarantee you will utilize in your space – or one of your roommates will – and honestly will make your transition into your new space with more ease.)

A fucking air fryer – I wish I took this appliance more seriously when I first moved. I tried to jump the gun and be all Betty Crocker, when truthfully, I knew little to nothing on how to *actually* cook. It was exhausting and I found myself always always was guessing *well, the chicken kinda looks done to me?.* Don’t get me wrong, it was (and is!!) fun to put yourself out there and try new things in the kitchen, but if there is one thing I would recommend getting to lighten the load on what your new reality is going to be – cooking raw meat *ew* compared to eating it already made by your caregivers – take this one serious. It will save your time and energy during your transition on living alone. ( Click here for a list of the Best Air Fryers of 2021 found on consumerreports.com, written by Tanya A. Christian )
Scrub Daddy Sponges – Guess who gets to clean your space now and is responsible to do so? You, my friend! And chances are, if it is your fist time living on your own, perhaps it will be in an older building (or if that’s not the case, get after it!) And by older building I mean… dun, dun, dun… older tiles. And let me tell you, they are a BITCH to clean. When my boyfriend introduces me to these sponges, it was because he saw them on an episode of Sharktank. So, I figured, why not try them out. Let me tell you, cleaning with these in a bathroom with tile that also collects mold easily, is a freaking god-send. (Pro tip: get some foaming bleach spray, Clorox works great. I’ve been searching for a more eco-friendly alternative spray that works the same and have not been able to find one yet, but when I do, I will definitely update this!) Click here to shop on Scrub Daddy’s website
A Basic Bitch TOOL BOX – I did not stutter!!! I promise that even if being a handy man/woman is not your thing, the chances are, you will at some point need a screw driver or tape measurer. And that’s where your basic bitch tool box will come in. I remember moving into my first apartment with two roommates, none of us thought of this, but rather my roommate’s dad made us get one and I can’t even begin to tell you how helpful it has been. If you don’t care too much, just get the bare minimum that you need (hammer, nails, screw driver, tape measurer, duct tape, etc) start there and add to it when needed.
AutoPay Bills – listen, if you are financially able to set up AutoPay on (at least most) of your bills, that will take away some of that mental space worrying about it. At this point, many internet, phone, and other bills allow you to do so without hurting your contracts. (Important note: do your own research on your providers before you set it up! Each provider may be different.) (Important note #2: do not pay bills late! If you are someone who is forgetful/procrastinates, write down exactly when things are due on which date and post them on your fridge. And to even follow up with that – set reminders on your phone.)
Decorate Your Place that Reflects YOU – okay now to something a bit more fun (IMHO!) I cannot stress this enough. Your new home is going to be your new sanctuary, and if it doesn’t reflect you, and instead reflects the idea of someone else… it just won’t feel the same. So my advice here is, play around with some ideas of what YOU want your new place to look like. If you like the boho look/style, don’t set up strictly modern decor just because your aunt Patsy said so. DO accept opinions and suggestions from others while staying true to what you want for your home. After all – you’re the one who gets to live there!

I could go on and on with this list.. but the truth is, when it comes to making big decisions like moving out of your parents place (or anywhere for that matter) sometimes, no matter how much you prepare, you will still have learning curves thrown at you no matter what. And that’s just life! If you find yourself in this spot, know that you are absolutely going to do amazing and that you are not alone. And if you have found some of your own *practical* tips to add to this list, leave them in the comments!

Xo,

Jen

HOW TO MAKE 2021 YOUR YEAR

AND ACCEPT 2020 FOR WHAT IT WAS

Before your dive in, you should probably know that this blog post is not going to be what you think it is. I am not going to magically tell you how to manifest all of your desires in 2021 and make the pain of 2020 go away (though if and when I find out how, I’ll let you know!!) To be quite honest, this past year got way too real and I intend on leaning into that while I carry myself into 2021. How, you may ask? By starting by accepting 2020, being practical, and adding a dash of hope.

How many posts have you read with the aggressive headlines of WRITE YOUR RESOLUTIONS, MANIFEST YOUR DREAM LIFE IN THE NEW YEAR, DO THIS DO THAT, DO MORE AND REST LESS, yada yada yada… I know that I have read waaaay too many of those in my (almost) 25 years on this earth. Actually TOO many, to the point where when I entered 2020 I was actually convinced that it was going to be MY year and I was gonna make shit happen! Ohhhh boy was I wrong.. and with naturally being the type of person who always wants to learn, better themselves, and level up, when I finally accepted that I was wrong about 2020, it was hard to digest. This past year was full of burn out, defeat, plans being rearranged, and just flat out pain. (And of course great things happened simultaneously, but more on that in tip #3.)

Which brings me to the first tip on How to Make 2021 Your Year:

Pump the Breaks on the Pressure

In a society that encourages the go-go-go autopilot lifestyle, it is so easy to feel a certain type of pressure for ourselves to perform, improve, and advance. And if we’re speaking about New Years Resolutions, many times they are exactly that. So now that we have experienced this past year of shut downs and everything that the pandemic has brought along, let yourself have that space where you can release this societal pressure, take it easy, and simply allow yourself to enjoy whatever it is that you are doing.

After you let off some steam, it’s time for tip number 2:

Accept 2020 for What It Was and Let it Go

Easier said than done, am I right? Okay but really though. We can’t really move on until we can accept the mess that last year was (to say the least) and try our best to find the lessons and slivers of joy that were woven into 2020. Accepting what happened does not mean forgetting and it also does not mean that you have to agree with everything that happened, and I think that’s kind of the beauty of this tip is simply accepting that we cannot change the past as well as accepting that we do not have the control over everything.

Next up, tip #3:

Write Down the GOOD Things

The lessons that you learned, what you are grateful for, and moments that brought you joy this past year. This can be anything, even the smallest of things! Writing it on paper and having it in front of you will help bring it to surface and I promise that there is at least one thing. For me, one thing that I learned this year is that sometimes what I think I want is not always what I need. Another one, more simple is that I learned to tie my shoes the loop-way rather than the bunny-ears way. Legit not joking on this either, LOL. And the moments that brought me the most joy was when I was able to spend time with my family and loved ones.

Now that we have let go of 2020 and thanked it for it’s lessons, it’s time for tip 4:

Start Fresh – Start Somewhere

There is something beautiful and blissful about the start of something new. Which maybe that’s why New Years Resolutions can be so ~livelaughlove?~ (No hate though, I do them every year, lol.) But really, when you look at the beginning as a fresh slate, and the perspective of anything can happen, it really is beautiful. So why not give that to yourself? If there is a goal that maybe got redirected during last year, bring yourself back to it and see how you can apply it if you just start now, and you just start somewhere. (And remember from tip #1 – pump the breaks on the pressure, Rome was not built in one day!)

And above all, tip number 5 I think is the most important,

Be Kind to Yourself and Others

This was a hard year, don’t be too hard on yourself, friend! For the year that we have had, and the continued challenges that we all face individually and collectively, I think we could all use some kindness, grace, a good laugh, and probably a thick glass of wine (or shot of vodka if you’re into that.)

Though these tips may not have been what you expected, I hope that they brought you some comfort in knowing that yes, last year was hard, but if we can get through that, we can get through anything. I truly believe that this year made us all stronger as individuals and together, so when you take strength + a little dash of hope, it will give you something beautiful to lean into for the start of 2021.

Here’s to 2021!

A year that we needed

Now I didn’t say that this was the year that we WANTED, let’s get that very clear (major LOL as I type this.)

I was making dinner the other night reflecting on this year and found myself in disbelief that it is already the end of September and seasonly we are in fall. (Though in Los Angeles we are going through yet another heat wave so sweater weather is way out of question for now.) I was chopping vegetables, actively reminding myself that, hey, it’s GOOD to eat healthy food and it’s totally OKAY to fall off your normal food intake sometimes. (I was going to use the word diet but I am not one to really use that word due to the stigma around it, so for a lack of words, I am saying “normal food intake,’ lol.) And what I mean by “fall off” is when you find yourself just not feeling yourself. And that maybe bad habits get formed or habits simply just change. It happens. And food was just an example that first hit my mind this night because I was finally eating a vegetable after a few days of eating garbage food (which, hey, sometimes you gotta just let yourself live and eat whatever the fuck you want. And if that’s a coping mechanism for you, self awareness is key my dudes.)

But in reality, this type of “fall off” situation happens on and off in so many different areas of our lives. And that was what I was really reflecting on this night. I was in awe of how much change has happened in these 9 months of 2020. Personally and globally. I swear on NYE I thought this year was going to be the shit and that I was going to totally crush it. Afterall, I had been doing some serious self discovery work and was on a self love journey. And to be completely honest, this year has felt anything but “the shit.”

I am one who can tend to spiral down into negative thoughts if I don’t catch myself, so right here is where I then realized that sometimes what we think we want is not actually what we need. And sometimes the universe does such a crazy job at rearranging our lives to then show us to the other side of the unknown. I know SO much has changed this year and yes, many, many, bad and unthinkable things have been happening this year, but at the same time, these painful things have really brought light in ways that have been so, so needed.

And so, maybe this year is actually what we all needed. To heal. To take care. To grow. To become more aware. To learn. To listen. To love. To change. To be better. To take big step back. To TRY. To be kicked down just to climb back up. And then kicked down and then to climb back up again, and again, and again..

Choosing to try again doesn’t mean that you have failed in the past, and it certainly does not mean that the next step is always going to be easy.. But if it it means something to you, brings value to your life, and is worth having.. it will be worth it.

23 Things I Learned At 23

As I completed another year around the sun, I feel very nostalgic looking back on the year of 23 and all that it encompassed. From the lessons, mistakes, opportunities, growth, great times, bad times, and everything in between. For me 23 was a very special year for me in terms of self-growth, so I have a very heavy heart saying goodbye to it. Through this growth I feel more myself that I have ever felt while simultaneously feeling so confused! I guess this may be how many of us early-twenty-something’s feel going through this interesting phase of life.

As a way of honoring 23, I wrote down 23 things that I have learned this past year. I had so much fun reflecting on all that this year has brought to me in terms of lessons! These lessons are reminders of what I went through then to now have these lessons as I step into 24.

So here is to 24, another year, and a beautiful life! If you resonated with one of these lessons, drop a comment below. I would love to hear about it!

Doing little things that will add up to the bigger picture tends to be more helpful that focusing on the bigger picture and getting overwhelmed
Self-care comes in many, many different forms
Investing in a good dry shampoo will change your god damn life
Investing in good skincare will ALSO change your god damn life and your skin, too
The relationship that you have with yourself will set the blueprints for the relationships that you have with others
Love is all around you, whether you can see it or not all depends on what you choose to focus on
Life will slap you in the face with the same situation until you learn the lesson (yikes, SO true)
Sex is awesome and shouldn’t be this whole taboo topic
Families comes in all different shapes and forms, and family can be non-blood related
Being adventurous in the place you call home opens up a new form of love towards that place
There is SO much that we can learn from nature and animals
How you see yourself is WAY more important that how others view you
Getting your nails done is a beautiful way to
It’s okay to have questioned your faith and take time to reconnect to God in a way that is most genuine to you
Taking social media detoxes is very helpful to reconnect back to your reality, purpose, and overall how you spend your time
It is never too late to try and start something new
Honesty is the best policy – but like, for real!
Stop! Eating! Shit! Your! Body! Doesn’t! Like!
Changing habits changes the way you live your life, and it’s easier said than done but it is SO worth it
Getting to know your sense of expression/creativity through fashion is so much fun! (And fast fashion can take a hike)
The world is here for you, and you are never alone
You don’t always have to be liked
Lastly – you are exactly where you are meant to be in this moment in time.

Thank you for reading!

Xo, Jen

Three Years In LA

When I first had the idea of moving to LA, it was all very whimsical and dreamy. I was imagining a colorful life with lots of sunshine, palm trees, livin’ la vida loca on the west coast (which I am still trying to decide which takes the stamp of approval for the best coast.) Don’t get me wrong, I knew the move was going to be hard and not actually whimsical, but when I imagined living in LA I couldn’t help but think of all of the movies and YouTube videos I watched prior to moving that painted the city in such an incredible way. And when I moved, that is the way I wanted to see it. That saying, looking through rose-colored glasses sounds about right.

I was just turning 21, didn’t have a plan, didn’t have a job, no place to live, sold my car back in PA, only knew two people in the city which I was moving with, and had about $5,000 in my bank account specifically for moving expenses that ended up dwindling down to $500 REAL fast. I had a one-way ticket from Philly to LAX with not a god damn idea what I was about to do, but somehow it felt right. When I look back on that day that I jumped on the flight with two of my childhood best friends, I ask myself “how was I so calm?” But I guess that’s just it, something about it felt right. And from there I turned my fear and doubts into determination.

Moving across the country has been the most challenging, most rewarding thing I have done for my life. It’s funny that when I write about it now, the actual moving process feels like it was all a dream because now I just think of LA as home. It took a really long time to feel like home and every now and then I do find myself day dreaming about living other places, but for the past three years I can confidently say that living in LA has changed my life in ways I could have never imagined. These years have given me so much joy while simultaneously shoving my face into the ground. Which, come to think of it, I think that is just the balancing act of life in general, ha!

I would love to share more of my journey of moving cross country, things I would have done differently, ins and outs of LA, but for now, I will share a hand-full of things that I have learned living in LA in my early twenties:

-You may need to lose yourself to find yourself again, and that is totally okay.

-By experimenting, getting adventurous, and trying new things, you learn about yourself and find your own nich in the city.

-The homeless population is unlike anything I have ever seen.

-In-N-Out Burger really is as good as the reviews say. I am forever and always endowed to that place. My order if I really want to get crazy: A number one double-double with grilled onions, animal style fries, and a chocolate shake.

-Just like any place that you move to, it is what you make of it. If you choose to focus on the shitty things, you will have a shitty experience. If you choose to focus on the beautiful things and the things that made you fall in love with the environment, then you will have a wonderful experience. And that is not to say ignore the bad things, it is just to focus on the good rather than the bad but to be aware of it all.

-Expensive AF. Los Angeles is known to be an expensive city, and boy is that true. Doing my research prior to moving helped me be prepared but when you’re living in it, it’s a whole other story.

-The melting pot of people in Los Angeles is unlike anything I have ever seen. The native Angelenos, the transplants, the cultures, the energy… Everyone brings a little something different to the city. We all simultaneously coexist in the same environment while experiencing life differently. That is one of the main reasons why I love living here.

-LA is not for everyone, but if it is something that interests you, then give it a shot! Why not?

After all, I am just an ordinary gal who found a spark in LA, gave it a shot, and here we are three years later. Looking back to where I am today, I would not change a thing.

Love Always,

Jen

Antelope Valley Poppy Reserve

Sometimes life gets a little hectic and you forget to wind down and do thinks that you love. Work/school gets busy, chores pile up, overwhelming situations… Life happens! Personally, most of my time is devoted to work and the rest of the time I don’t always set aside for “me time.” I find that finding “me time” gives me piece of mind after a crazy day/week. And when I am able to, I love to set aside time for exploring, travel, and adventure. I find that I am my absolute happiest when I am exploring and learning.

The other week I did just that: planned a day to venture out of Los Angeles and see the Antelope Valley Poppy Reserve for my own eyes. I have been hearing that since there was so much rain fall this year (more than normal) that poppy flowers and wildflowers have been blooming like crazy. I was fascinated with the idea of seeing fields of flowers in bloom, so I just had to make a trip. And I’m so glad I did, this will forever be one of my favorite memories.

The Antelope Valley Poppy Reserve is a natural state reserve. There are fields of poppy flowers and wildflowers that are typically in bloom from February through May. With eight miles of trails, it’s a great area to take the day to explore. Get out of the city, get into the country side, and breathe a little. And if you plan on visiting, go prepared! Bring sunscreen, walking/hiking shoes, and lots and lots of water. (I forgot my sunscreen and my back turned into a tomato!!)

Since I live in the city, I sometimes forget to appreciate the little things like grass, flowers, trees, etc. But there at the reserve, natures’ beauty was surrounding me. Beautiful flowers, intriguing hills/mountains, and country roads that seem to go on for days.

This experience I will always hold close to. I had a moment of pure bliss. Pure happiness. The feeling where you are completely content with where you are. And in that moment, everything becomes calm.

The Start of Something New…

First and foremost I would like to say thank you for dropping by! Welcome to the start of something new, blog edition. This has been a long time coming, and similar to the image above, (taken at the Philadelphia Magic Gardens in Philadelphia, PA) slowly but surely… Which may or may not have to become my life motto.

Blogging has always been very intriguing to me, and so to me it’s no surprise that I would give it a whirl. If anyone knows me personally, you would know that I did have a previous blog on tumblr which was dedicated to my Rotary youth exchange year in Ecuador during 2014-2015. There I shared my experiences, thoughts, and travels during my year as a foreign exchange student. My intension to make that blog was to easily be able to keep my loved ones from the USA updated with my new exchange life. Every now and then I look back on it and it brings me back to so many great memories/feelings. As much as I loved writing there, it really makes no sense for me to continue with it after almost two years.

Growing up I always loved writing, but it was mainly when it was just for me, voicing my opinion, or helping someone else. Writing has always been a creative outlet for me, and for a while I was putting it on the back burner as I tried to focus on other things. So after many encouraging words from friends and family, here I am, creating this blog to be whole-heartedly, me.

I would say that the biggest struggle with creating and constructing this blog was not trying to figure out how to design it. That was quite interesting and fun after A LOT of trial and error. (I thought I was pretty tech savvy but this site was actually very challenging for me to understand.) My biggest struggle was trying to come up with a guide line of where my content would fall. I have many interests, so how could I just choose one? It’s very hard to just limit myself to focus on one topic. My other blog was fairly easy because it was strictly about my exchange year. But there is much more to my life, and life in general. My conclusion is to have my blog be mainly centered around “lifestyle.”

With that being said, this is what you will find here: my life. My experiences, stories, opinions, travels, interests, advice, and much much more. Comments, suggestions, and questions are always welcome. All I ask for is respect and an open mind.

NowAndThenWithJen means exactly what it says. Everything from back then, to right now, from the inside and out. I thought it would be very fitting for this new creation. Thank you for stopping by and here’s to what is still to come!

"Let us make our future now, and let us make our dreams tomorrow's reality." -Malala Yousafzai