Uncategorized – Now And Then With Jen

Practical Tips for Your first Move

So you’re planning on moving out of your parents’ place for your very first time and have no idea what to buy for your new pad. Will a toaster suffice for all of your meals cooked at home? What type of cleaner do you buy to clean the bathroom? How about paying bills? And what if my aunt Patsy tries to take over decorating?

If you find yourself feeling confused, excited, and maybe a little helpless, I got you. As someone who has temporarily lived in a different country, then long term moved across the US, while also being someone who didn’t know what the fuck she was doing… I now know a few *practical* things that will help make your life a whole lot easier (so you have more time and mental space for, ya know, living life!)

(Side note: if you are looking for a detailed list from a home decor guru or feng shui master, let me let you down right now, that ain’t this list! This list is going to give you a few practical things that I guarantee you will utilize in your space – or one of your roommates will – and honestly will make your transition into your new space with more ease.)

A fucking air fryer – I wish I took this appliance more seriously when I first moved. I tried to jump the gun and be all Betty Crocker, when truthfully, I knew little to nothing on how to *actually* cook. It was exhausting and I found myself always always was guessing *well, the chicken kinda looks done to me?.* Don’t get me wrong, it was (and is!!) fun to put yourself out there and try new things in the kitchen, but if there is one thing I would recommend getting to lighten the load on what your new reality is going to be – cooking raw meat *ew* compared to eating it already made by your caregivers – take this one serious. It will save your time and energy during your transition on living alone. ( Click here for a list of the Best Air Fryers of 2021 found on consumerreports.com, written by Tanya A. Christian )
Scrub Daddy Sponges – Guess who gets to clean your space now and is responsible to do so? You, my friend! And chances are, if it is your fist time living on your own, perhaps it will be in an older building (or if that’s not the case, get after it!) And by older building I mean… dun, dun, dun… older tiles. And let me tell you, they are a BITCH to clean. When my boyfriend introduces me to these sponges, it was because he saw them on an episode of Sharktank. So, I figured, why not try them out. Let me tell you, cleaning with these in a bathroom with tile that also collects mold easily, is a freaking god-send. (Pro tip: get some foaming bleach spray, Clorox works great. I’ve been searching for a more eco-friendly alternative spray that works the same and have not been able to find one yet, but when I do, I will definitely update this!) Click here to shop on Scrub Daddy’s website
A Basic Bitch TOOL BOX – I did not stutter!!! I promise that even if being a handy man/woman is not your thing, the chances are, you will at some point need a screw driver or tape measurer. And that’s where your basic bitch tool box will come in. I remember moving into my first apartment with two roommates, none of us thought of this, but rather my roommate’s dad made us get one and I can’t even begin to tell you how helpful it has been. If you don’t care too much, just get the bare minimum that you need (hammer, nails, screw driver, tape measurer, duct tape, etc) start there and add to it when needed.
AutoPay Bills – listen, if you are financially able to set up AutoPay on (at least most) of your bills, that will take away some of that mental space worrying about it. At this point, many internet, phone, and other bills allow you to do so without hurting your contracts. (Important note: do your own research on your providers before you set it up! Each provider may be different.) (Important note #2: do not pay bills late! If you are someone who is forgetful/procrastinates, write down exactly when things are due on which date and post them on your fridge. And to even follow up with that – set reminders on your phone.)
Decorate Your Place that Reflects YOU – okay now to something a bit more fun (IMHO!) I cannot stress this enough. Your new home is going to be your new sanctuary, and if it doesn’t reflect you, and instead reflects the idea of someone else… it just won’t feel the same. So my advice here is, play around with some ideas of what YOU want your new place to look like. If you like the boho look/style, don’t set up strictly modern decor just because your aunt Patsy said so. DO accept opinions and suggestions from others while staying true to what you want for your home. After all – you’re the one who gets to live there!

I could go on and on with this list.. but the truth is, when it comes to making big decisions like moving out of your parents place (or anywhere for that matter) sometimes, no matter how much you prepare, you will still have learning curves thrown at you no matter what. And that’s just life! If you find yourself in this spot, know that you are absolutely going to do amazing and that you are not alone. And if you have found some of your own *practical* tips to add to this list, leave them in the comments!

Xo,

Jen

HOW TO MAKE 2021 YOUR YEAR

AND ACCEPT 2020 FOR WHAT IT WAS

Before your dive in, you should probably know that this blog post is not going to be what you think it is. I am not going to magically tell you how to manifest all of your desires in 2021 and make the pain of 2020 go away (though if and when I find out how, I’ll let you know!!) To be quite honest, this past year got way too real and I intend on leaning into that while I carry myself into 2021. How, you may ask? By starting by accepting 2020, being practical, and adding a dash of hope.

How many posts have you read with the aggressive headlines of WRITE YOUR RESOLUTIONS, MANIFEST YOUR DREAM LIFE IN THE NEW YEAR, DO THIS DO THAT, DO MORE AND REST LESS, yada yada yada… I know that I have read waaaay too many of those in my (almost) 25 years on this earth. Actually TOO many, to the point where when I entered 2020 I was actually convinced that it was going to be MY year and I was gonna make shit happen! Ohhhh boy was I wrong.. and with naturally being the type of person who always wants to learn, better themselves, and level up, when I finally accepted that I was wrong about 2020, it was hard to digest. This past year was full of burn out, defeat, plans being rearranged, and just flat out pain. (And of course great things happened simultaneously, but more on that in tip #3.)

Which brings me to the first tip on How to Make 2021 Your Year:

Pump the Breaks on the Pressure

In a society that encourages the go-go-go autopilot lifestyle, it is so easy to feel a certain type of pressure for ourselves to perform, improve, and advance. And if we’re speaking about New Years Resolutions, many times they are exactly that. So now that we have experienced this past year of shut downs and everything that the pandemic has brought along, let yourself have that space where you can release this societal pressure, take it easy, and simply allow yourself to enjoy whatever it is that you are doing.

After you let off some steam, it’s time for tip number 2:

Accept 2020 for What It Was and Let it Go

Easier said than done, am I right? Okay but really though. We can’t really move on until we can accept the mess that last year was (to say the least) and try our best to find the lessons and slivers of joy that were woven into 2020. Accepting what happened does not mean forgetting and it also does not mean that you have to agree with everything that happened, and I think that’s kind of the beauty of this tip is simply accepting that we cannot change the past as well as accepting that we do not have the control over everything.

Next up, tip #3:

Write Down the GOOD Things

The lessons that you learned, what you are grateful for, and moments that brought you joy this past year. This can be anything, even the smallest of things! Writing it on paper and having it in front of you will help bring it to surface and I promise that there is at least one thing. For me, one thing that I learned this year is that sometimes what I think I want is not always what I need. Another one, more simple is that I learned to tie my shoes the loop-way rather than the bunny-ears way. Legit not joking on this either, LOL. And the moments that brought me the most joy was when I was able to spend time with my family and loved ones.

Now that we have let go of 2020 and thanked it for it’s lessons, it’s time for tip 4:

Start Fresh – Start Somewhere

There is something beautiful and blissful about the start of something new. Which maybe that’s why New Years Resolutions can be so ~livelaughlove?~ (No hate though, I do them every year, lol.) But really, when you look at the beginning as a fresh slate, and the perspective of anything can happen, it really is beautiful. So why not give that to yourself? If there is a goal that maybe got redirected during last year, bring yourself back to it and see how you can apply it if you just start now, and you just start somewhere. (And remember from tip #1 – pump the breaks on the pressure, Rome was not built in one day!)

And above all, tip number 5 I think is the most important,

Be Kind to Yourself and Others

This was a hard year, don’t be too hard on yourself, friend! For the year that we have had, and the continued challenges that we all face individually and collectively, I think we could all use some kindness, grace, a good laugh, and probably a thick glass of wine (or shot of vodka if you’re into that.)

Though these tips may not have been what you expected, I hope that they brought you some comfort in knowing that yes, last year was hard, but if we can get through that, we can get through anything. I truly believe that this year made us all stronger as individuals and together, so when you take strength + a little dash of hope, it will give you something beautiful to lean into for the start of 2021.

Here’s to 2021!

23 Things I Learned At 23

As I completed another year around the sun, I feel very nostalgic looking back on the year of 23 and all that it encompassed. From the lessons, mistakes, opportunities, growth, great times, bad times, and everything in between. For me 23 was a very special year for me in terms of self-growth, so I have a very heavy heart saying goodbye to it. Through this growth I feel more myself that I have ever felt while simultaneously feeling so confused! I guess this may be how many of us early-twenty-something’s feel going through this interesting phase of life.

As a way of honoring 23, I wrote down 23 things that I have learned this past year. I had so much fun reflecting on all that this year has brought to me in terms of lessons! These lessons are reminders of what I went through then to now have these lessons as I step into 24.

So here is to 24, another year, and a beautiful life! If you resonated with one of these lessons, drop a comment below. I would love to hear about it!

Doing little things that will add up to the bigger picture tends to be more helpful that focusing on the bigger picture and getting overwhelmed
Self-care comes in many, many different forms
Investing in a good dry shampoo will change your god damn life
Investing in good skincare will ALSO change your god damn life and your skin, too
The relationship that you have with yourself will set the blueprints for the relationships that you have with others
Love is all around you, whether you can see it or not all depends on what you choose to focus on
Life will slap you in the face with the same situation until you learn the lesson (yikes, SO true)
Sex is awesome and shouldn’t be this whole taboo topic
Families comes in all different shapes and forms, and family can be non-blood related
Being adventurous in the place you call home opens up a new form of love towards that place
There is SO much that we can learn from nature and animals
How you see yourself is WAY more important that how others view you
Getting your nails done is a beautiful way to
It’s okay to have questioned your faith and take time to reconnect to God in a way that is most genuine to you
Taking social media detoxes is very helpful to reconnect back to your reality, purpose, and overall how you spend your time
It is never too late to try and start something new
Honesty is the best policy – but like, for real!
Stop! Eating! Shit! Your! Body! Doesn’t! Like!
Changing habits changes the way you live your life, and it’s easier said than done but it is SO worth it
Getting to know your sense of expression/creativity through fashion is so much fun! (And fast fashion can take a hike)
The world is here for you, and you are never alone
You don’t always have to be liked
Lastly – you are exactly where you are meant to be in this moment in time.

Thank you for reading!

Xo, Jen

Three Years In LA

When I first had the idea of moving to LA, it was all very whimsical and dreamy. I was imagining a colorful life with lots of sunshine, palm trees, livin’ la vida loca on the west coast (which I am still trying to decide which takes the stamp of approval for the best coast.) Don’t get me wrong, I knew the move was going to be hard and not actually whimsical, but when I imagined living in LA I couldn’t help but think of all of the movies and YouTube videos I watched prior to moving that painted the city in such an incredible way. And when I moved, that is the way I wanted to see it. That saying, looking through rose-colored glasses sounds about right.

I was just turning 21, didn’t have a plan, didn’t have a job, no place to live, sold my car back in PA, only knew two people in the city which I was moving with, and had about $5,000 in my bank account specifically for moving expenses that ended up dwindling down to $500 REAL fast. I had a one-way ticket from Philly to LAX with not a god damn idea what I was about to do, but somehow it felt right. When I look back on that day that I jumped on the flight with two of my childhood best friends, I ask myself “how was I so calm?” But I guess that’s just it, something about it felt right. And from there I turned my fear and doubts into determination.

Moving across the country has been the most challenging, most rewarding thing I have done for my life. It’s funny that when I write about it now, the actual moving process feels like it was all a dream because now I just think of LA as home. It took a really long time to feel like home and every now and then I do find myself day dreaming about living other places, but for the past three years I can confidently say that living in LA has changed my life in ways I could have never imagined. These years have given me so much joy while simultaneously shoving my face into the ground. Which, come to think of it, I think that is just the balancing act of life in general, ha!

I would love to share more of my journey of moving cross country, things I would have done differently, ins and outs of LA, but for now, I will share a hand-full of things that I have learned living in LA in my early twenties:

-You may need to lose yourself to find yourself again, and that is totally okay.

-By experimenting, getting adventurous, and trying new things, you learn about yourself and find your own nich in the city.

-The homeless population is unlike anything I have ever seen.

-In-N-Out Burger really is as good as the reviews say. I am forever and always endowed to that place. My order if I really want to get crazy: A number one double-double with grilled onions, animal style fries, and a chocolate shake.

-Just like any place that you move to, it is what you make of it. If you choose to focus on the shitty things, you will have a shitty experience. If you choose to focus on the beautiful things and the things that made you fall in love with the environment, then you will have a wonderful experience. And that is not to say ignore the bad things, it is just to focus on the good rather than the bad but to be aware of it all.

-Expensive AF. Los Angeles is known to be an expensive city, and boy is that true. Doing my research prior to moving helped me be prepared but when you’re living in it, it’s a whole other story.

-The melting pot of people in Los Angeles is unlike anything I have ever seen. The native Angelenos, the transplants, the cultures, the energy… Everyone brings a little something different to the city. We all simultaneously coexist in the same environment while experiencing life differently. That is one of the main reasons why I love living here.

-LA is not for everyone, but if it is something that interests you, then give it a shot! Why not?

After all, I am just an ordinary gal who found a spark in LA, gave it a shot, and here we are three years later. Looking back to where I am today, I would not change a thing.

Love Always,

Jen